9/30 Here's what sucks...

I just got paid yesterday and am already broke for this two-week period. I'll manage, I think. But that's not what's bad.

I'm working on packing, cleaning up and throwing away stuff, and my back is really hurting. I thought it was better but all this bending and lifting has done me in. Makes me want to just sit and cry--not from the pain but from the frustration of it all. When I get some money in--soon, I'll get rebates from my "cafeteria plan"--then I can hire someone to help me. In the meantime, I just have to keep busy.

Will relax a little right now with a muscle relaxer and the heating pad. Then we'll try 'er again.

Don't mean to sound so down. My life is awesome, I just hate these little setbacks.

Having an open house a week from tomorrow so I have to accomplish a lot today. Tomorrow from noon until night I have the Brawl Competition at CSz and then rehearsal and I can't get out of either one of them and I have rehearsal most of next week, so today and next Saturday are my big opportunities to get things ready for the open house.

Okay, time for drugs. Yay.

9/29 Changes in resignation date

We changed my last date from the 23rd to Friday, the 13th. (Cue spooky music.)

I offered the option to my boss because the following week I'll be in Oshkosh all week at Red Cross Training. I don't have vacation time left to cover it, so I'm not getting paid anyway, and it seemed like a better idea than coming back in for one day on Monday the 23rd. Didn't make sense.

I won't be getting paid by the Red Cross for the training either. Why? Because I don't start with them until the 23rd. This training had already been set up when I was a volunteer, and some of the courses are pre-requisites for being hired. Luckily it's all free, including lodging. I just have to pay for gas and one meal a day.

So two weeks from today is my last day here at CPI. Plus that's the performance day for BroadMinded, which is great and will stop me from feeling any loss at leaving here.

Will stay home tonight and veg a bit. I've been feeling stressed, so instead of getting work done, I'm going to totally relax. Then all day tomorrow I'll work on the house. Hopefully we'll have some interested parties coming through soon.

9/28 Busy, bizzy, bizzy

Yeah, I've always thought "busy" should be spelled "bizzy." Enough about that.

Last night's BroadMinded rehearsal was fun. We did a lot on Jesus and the Women and I think it's going to rock. Plus Megan and Stacy worked on the Hunters. Made me laugh. Then we practiced my sketch--Charity at Home. It's good too. Lots of fun new ones this time.

Great news for some of our troupe. Melissa was promoted into the pros at ComedySportz and starts immediately. We're all so happy for her. She is both talented and nice. Anne is already a pro so 1/4 of us are in the professional players. Very cool. And Megan made the Conservatory at Second City in Chicago. It'll be a lot of work for her, but she's so good, I know it will be worth the work.

Tonight I will be working at home because tomorrow a photographer will come and take pictures of the inside of my condo while I'm at work. So many things to hide. But my closets are already full from when the realtor came. Gosh, I'm a mess. But not too messy because the cleaners came Monday, which meant I had to stuff things in the closet so they could clean.

I just want the sale to get done so I can quit worrying about it. Signed a form that said I didn't have to be at closing, so don't have to wait around for that, which is cool.

Kayla, Hunter, and Jill called me this morning. Kayla first and I loved it. Really miss talking to her since she's in first grade now. Also loved the fact that I could hear Hunter in the background saying, "I want to talk to her. I want to talk to her." Of course then I talked to my own baby, Jill. She is really something. Lucky indeed.

Beata's blog today talked about how happy they are that I'm coming to NC. So sweet--Rob too. I feel very blessed.

And my brother Joe's blog detailed two more birthdays. We must have had at least a hundred of them this month. (Only slight exaggeration.)

9/27 Oh, I forgot...

I forgot to say that I definitely decided to go to Sanford NC for a few months to be with Rob and Beata.

I'll ship my stuff to storage in Quincy, so it will be there when I re-locate. Finding a job in Quincy (for when I'm not doing disaster work) won't be easy if I'm in NC, but it can be done. At least I can set up some interviews. But I'll be rent-free for a couple of months, and that will be awesome.

Thanks, Rob and Beata, you are very kind. (And Beata, please post on your blog about your exciting meeting.)

9/27 Anniversary and more...

Today is Jill and Todd's 9th anniversary. Their wedding was on the beach at Carmel and was lovely. Very small. Just her father (and his wife/son), her brother (Rob) and mom (me). Todd's mom and dad, brothers and their families. So it was a very intimate ceremony. I have so many good memories of that day. Probably my favorite--Jill's maid of honor was her brother Rob, all decked out in his formal military uniform. They looked gorgeous together.

Jill thought it was no big deal asking her brother to be her maid of honor, because "you're supposed to ask your best friend." Now, that memory always makes me tear up a bit. I love my kids!

The "and more..." stuff has to do with my near-panic attack at no money in the bank. Can't wait until Friday (payday). The good news is that I only have a few more payments left on my car, and it's still in good condition. And I'm still confident my condo will sell quickly...but we'll see.

Had an 8 AM appointment at Red Cross for someone in the HR department to sign a form saying that I am who I say I am. Yeah. Had to show my passport. It's a form from the Department of Homeland Security. Hope I pass all the background checks.

Today at work I'm publishing two different online newsletter, so am very busy. What in the hell am I doing blogging? Can't help it. It's an addiction. Or an affliction.

9/26 Quincy again

Another Quincy truck. This one from Gully Transportation. Tried to take a picture when I got closer so you could see the "Quincy, IL" on the side of the truck, or even the mudflaps, but couldn't get a good one.

Caught this while driving back to work from my meeting with the realtor.

9/26 Met with the realtor

Met with Patty, my realtor, over lunch. While not making any false promises, she thought the going rate for a place like mine was higher than I thought. So even if I have to lower the price a bit, I won't be disappointed.

I won't detail all our plans, just in case a potential buyer is reading, but I'm feeling pretty good. Wish it was all done, and I was somewhere else. I'm exhausted just thinking about everything I have to do.

Just met with my boss, and I have some major assignments to complete before I leave....

9/26 More on the wedding

This is stolen from my sister-in-law, Cindy, with her permission (guess it isn't really stealing then). Plus she stole my words "family anthem" so I guess we're even. :) Thanks, Cindy.

We had a very busy weekend with the events surrounding the wedding of our nephew, Craig, and his new bride, Megan. (picture) We broke the drive going there up by staying the night on the Indiana/Ohio border. (our hotel was in Ohio, and we ate dinner that night in Indiana, so I am not kidding about it being on the border) We only had a few hours to drive the next day, so we hit the mall in Richmond before heading out toward Granville, where the wedding was to be held. After checking in, and grabbing some lunch, we got ready and headed to the Granville Inn where most the family was staying, for the rehearsal. It was a drizzling on and off, so the rehearsal was held on a covered patio. The Inn was something to see. It reminded me a lot of the mansions on our Maine Street here in Quincy. The town of Granville has been maintained to a reflect its early history, and reminded Joe and I of a picturesque New England town. After the rehearsal we headed out to a farm that belongs to a friend of Megan and Craig's for a very relaxed, laid back rehearsal dinner. It was just how you'd think a fall evening should be spent with family and friends around. Jim and Karen got in a little later than most of us, but made it out to the farm, and it was good to see them after so long. I enjoyed the evening, and was not nearly as cold as I thought it might be. Saturday we got to sleep in a little and we headed back down the road to tour the town shops, hit the farmers market, and have lunch with a good portion of the family. It wasn't a beautiful sunny day, but the rain held off, and we enjoyed the early part of the day before we had to head back to the hotel and get ready for the wedding. Unfortunately (depending on who you ask) the rain started coming down just before the wedding was to start, but we were all fortunate that Mrs. Laura Bush will be visiting the Inn this week, so tents had been put up for her event, and they allowed Craig and Megan to use them for their wedding. So we were dry and warm, and had the music of raindrops falling on the roof throughout the service. Craig(naturally) provided the comic relief when he was 'attacked' by a spider and did some sort of happy dance to get rid of it, before preceding with his vowes...it was endearning, and SO like Craig. It was a beautiful wedding, and I cried to see one of my 6 originals (nieces and nephews on my own wedding day) begin his own marriage and family. We all moved inside the Inn to the most beautifully decorated room I have ever been in for a reception. It made me feel like a princess(ok, a really OLD princess) There were wonderful Hors d' Oeuvres prior to our meal, and an open bar. Once the bridal party were done with pictures and arrived the dinner was served, and it was wonderfully prepared, and we had several items to choose from. (I, not surprisingly, sampled them all) After dinner the party began, and we had a great time. I laughed so hard so many times, and had a great time. The highlight of the hilarity came when the Bozarth siblings decided they would 'serenade' Craig with their version of "Thank God I'm a Counrty Boy" (sort of a family anthem) and Jimmie did a psuedo strip tease, with a mini lap dance for Craig included. Jim always said he'd get Craig back for dancing on a table in his boxers at his wedding, and Jim had talked about the boxers he bought for the big 'pay back', so he could not pass up this opportunity, even though he said he really hadn't intended to follow through with his 'promise' of revenge. Craig laughed his butt off,(picture) and the look on Megan's face in the crowd was priceless...she had the perfect "O" mouth, and a smile in her eyes. Now the newlyweds are off to Bar Harbor, Maine for a wonderful honeymoon, where Craig says (in true Craig fashion) they will be having some wonderful lobster meals, do some whale watching, and where HE plans to make a baby! (I hope Megan is in on this plan too) Best Wishes to our Newlyweds for a lifetime of happy days.

(I tried to upload some pictures but couldn't. Will try later.)

9/25 Following the weekend...

It's always hard to come back to reality after I have such a fun weekend with my family. But today it's not too bad, because they're supposed to announce my resignation some time soon. And I'll start training someone to do my job, and time will fly by. That will be great because as much as I love this place, I'll be thrilled to start the new phase of my life.

My s-i-l, Karen, said that she and my brother Jim are trying to come up for BroadMinded's performance on October 13th. They live just 2 hours and 15 minutes away, but haven't been to visit me yet. Originally they were going to surprise me, but I was bitching that I've lived here 10 years and they've never visited. So the surprise is ruined but the good feelings aren't. Sure hope they can make it. We're going to have to tape the performance because no one else from the family can make it, and I'd love for them to see it. Especially because it will be my last performance with BroadMinded. I'm very sad about that.

Enough. Need to finish editing a 60-page journal, and it needs to be done today.

9/24 A perfect wedding

Despite the rain, it was a perfect wedding. Laura Bush is visiting that hotel in a few days so they've set up huge white tents on the front lawn--perfect for Craig and Megan's wedding.

The service itself was short, but beautiful. Craig provided comic relief by swatting a spider from his neck during the event. The programs were fun--one side contained the program, with beautiful classical music played by a string quartet. The other side sported a funny cartoon strip about how the couple met. It was drawn by my nephew, Adam, who unfortunately couldn't make it to the wedding since he just relocated to NYC. But everyone appreciated the work he did.

After the wedding we went right in to the dinner, which was tasty and filling. Then the partying started. The open bar provided fuel for the comedy that ensued. So many highlights. The beauty of all the dads dancing with their daughters, and then all the moms dancing with their sons. I really missed my own kids at this point.

Thirteen years ago when Craig was 16 he stripped to his boxer shorts and tie to dance on a table at Jim and Karen's reception. So Jim (the youngest and the biggest of us) told Craig he would get back at him. All day he hinted at what was to come. The funny part is that he had no plan but just wanted to make Craig nervous. Well, someone came up with the bright idea of Jim and several of us sitting Craig down and serenading him with Thank God I'm a Country Boy--one of our family anthems. As we did it, Jim ended up pretending to do a strip tease and lap dance for Craig. Omigod, we laughed so hard. Jim just unbuttoned his shirt, but that was enough. It was perfect. I whispered in Craig's ear, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." I don't remember who first said that, but it sure fit here.

We had a marvelous time--dancing, drinking, eating, laughing. Wish it could have gone on forever. This morning it was difficult saying goodbye to everyone. I'm still homesick.

Jan gave me a ride to the airport on her way to Craig and Megan's to watch them open presents. I was invited but had so much work to catch up on for tomorrow.

The honeymoon couple are leaving tonight to drive to Bar Harbor, Maine. Jan and Tim are taking their friends, Pam and Randy, and driving to Niagara Falls. Pam and Randy have never been there. Sounds like fun.

As for me, I'm going back to Milwaukee to find a real estate agent and sell my condo.

9/23 Wedding Day

Today at 5 Craig and Megan get married. I'm sure it will be lovely. It will be smaller than originally planned because several people had to cancel at the last minute. The hotel is picturesque and the company is good. And the party will be excellent.

We spent the whole day so far down town, just a few blocks away. Lots of quaint shops with fun restaurants. A farmers' market that is "to die for." Besides the organic produce, the bakery goods sure caught our eye and we sampled lots of goodies.

Had lunch in a micro-brewery--put three tables together for a bunch of us. Craig and his groomsmen came in and sampled the brew.

During lunch my brother Joe confronted me on my un-wise financial decision to quit work and move to the Red Cross. Really none of my sibs are supportive of the move. Jane said it's because everyone is worried about me. After my first, knee-jerk, defensive reaction, I shut up and listened and then calmly explained my reasoning. I said this was a smarter move than joining Doctors Without Borders which was my first choice, and what I still may do after retirement, if my good health holds out.

No one was mean to me, by the way, just expressing their opinion.

With our parents dying so young, I know there's no guarantee that I'll be around to enjoy retirement. Now is when I'm healthy. Now is when I have no familial obligations. Now is when I have the heart and the energy to go.

I'm one of the more adventurous ones of my sibs. But that's only part of why I'm doing this. The world is in such trouble--it makes me sad, depressed even. Instead of dwelling on thinking about it, I want to do my small part in making it better.

My kids know that I'm going to spend their inheritence, and they're okay with that. I'll always make sure I have enough to bury me and to buy a few kegs of beer for the wake.

As long as I'm able to have health insurance--everything will work out.

Here's who's here out of my sibs and their families--according sibs age:

Jer
Jan, Tim, Craig, Megan, Kris
John, Paulette, Matt, Beth, Blake, Tyler
Jane, Pete, Jordan, Sarah
Joe, Cindy, Cody
Jim, Karen

21 out of 46, pretty good considering it's an 8 hour drive for most of them. I'm happy to be surrounded by family, even though nearly everyone thinks I'm making an error in quitting my job and moving. Hope they're wrong. :)

9/22 Granville OH

Arrived in Columbus at 8 AM, after waking up at 3 in Milwaukee. Only had three hours sleep. Yawn.

Jan and Kris picked me up at the airport and I ran a thousand errands with them--including going to one of the coolest stores in the world, The Andersons. Row after row of Ohio State paraphernalia. Very creative stuff.

Met Jane, Pete, Jordan, and Sarah for lunch, then headed for the Granville Inn, about 30 minutes out of town. Granville is a lovely old town, almost like an antique itself. Most of our family is staying at the Inn. The rooms are all different and the beds are perfect. Plus free high speed internet access in each room. Quite an anachronism, but an appreciated one.

The wedding rehearsal was at 5, and it was funny--because of Craig. He's a funny guy.

Afterward we went to the rehearsal dinner--which was a huge pig roast. A lawyer Megan used to work with held it on his farm. We had a great time.

Unfortunately, because of not sleeping the night before, I was dead tired. Went back to the hotel early with Jane and gang. Everyone else stayed at the pig roast late, then went out in town. I'll find out tomorrow how much fun I missed.

9/21 Yeah!

I feel wonderful, even though I have no idea what I'm going to do next. It feels so good to have submitted my resignation. Now I have to sell my condo ASAP! I'm going to Craig and Megan's wedding in Ohio, so can't do anything about my situation this weekend. Monday I'll contact someone and get busy on selling the place.

MJ said I can stay at her place for a bit if the condo sells quickly.

My choices of where I'll live have been narrowed to Quincy IL or Sanford NC. If I can find the flexible p.t. job in Quincy immediately, I'll go there. If not, I'll go to Sanford for a while. Simple.

My daughter, Jill, made me cry again today when we talked. My kids are so loving. How did I ever get blessed with them? Both Rob and Jill (and dear daughter Beata) have caused me to cry in the last few days. Part of the tears came from still feeling the job stress, I know. But it's such a relief to know that if I fail at my new endeavor there will be loved ones who will pick me up and dust me off. I know you get tired of hearing this, but I'm one lucky bug.


jerilyndufresne.com/weblog/daily.html

9/21 BroadMinded

BroadMinded rehearsal was so much fun last night. I'm looking forward to our performance on October 13, but it's bittersweet since this will be my last performance with these wonderful, talented women.

In our next show I play an 80-year-old whore, an 18-year-old boy, a mother of a pregnant young woman, a bank supervisor, a lesbian interpreter, a 15-year-old girl at a slumber party, and more. How much fun is that!!!

I'm going to miss every single one of the troupe so much. Even if I'm able to get involved at my new location, it will not be the same.

9/20 My niece, Emma!

I'm so proud of my niece, Emma. Order her book online for free. The more that get ordered the more likely Baxter is to use her next book too. Thanks, a proud Aunt Jer

9/20 It's done

I submitted my resignation today. It will be announced Monday or Tuesday, and my last day will be 10/23. I feel good, and a lot of stress is gone. Things will work out. As St. Julian of Norwich said (one of my fav saints...she is ultimately cool), "All shall be well, all shall be well, and every manner of thing shall be well."

9/20 My kids are so cute...

Both of them said exactly the same thing, "Don't make snap decisions, Mom." They both love me and worry about me--yet they both say how proud they are that I'm going to do disaster work.

I knew they had spoken because they said the same thing--Rob on the east coast and Jill on the west. It warms my heart that they care so much.

I told Rob last night that the disaster mental health job wasn't a snap decision, but that I'd been too confident that my current job would also be available to me part-time and off-site. When the answer was no to that piece, I needed to make a very quick decision about where I'll live temporarily.

Can't stay in the condo because it's too expensive with mortgage and condo fees. Twice what I'd pay in rent in Quincy. And zillions more than I'd pay in rent with Rob and Beata (which is nada). They both got on the phone and made some very convincing arguements. So another (great) option has opened up. Perhaps I'll stay with them for a month or two while I investigate the "flexible job market" in Quincy.

Amazing how wonderful my children are! I am one lucky bug!

9/19 Happy birthday, Paulette, and more...

Happy birthday to my longest-lasting sister-in-law, Paulette. Thanks for putting up with John all these years. We all appreciate you so much.

Now to the more...

My company said no to the proposal I submitted. I wanted to make my job part-time and also to work remotely. That way I could accept the Red Cross offer of doing disaster mental health work. They pay minimally and also don't offer benefits, so it's important I have another job that offers benefits in order to do the disaster work I want to do.

I found out on Friday that the answer was no. By the way, I'm not angry at them at all. It's purely a business decision, and I didn't take it personally.

But it really put a damper on my Avon Breast Cancer Walk weekend in Long Beach.

Then--something really neat happened. I stayed with a friend on Sunday night prior to coming back to Milwaukee on Monday. She came up with a brilliant idea. I could live in their spare room (with private bath), and she had a brainstorm on a part-time job that had benefits, and also would allow me to leave whenever the Red Cross called me to disaster work. I could probably get another part-time job at CSz LA--at least it's worth a try.

No, it's not in Quincy--where I wanted to go, near my extended family. But it's in LA, and I'd only be an hour from Jill and her family. Just think, I'd be by my grandkids while they still think I'm wonderful. Even if I only stay a year before going to Quincy, it would be awesome. With my new life situation (i.e., making a small amount of money), I wouldn't be able to go out there to visit so much. This would solve that problem quite nicely.

I have to decide by Friday, because I have to give 30 days notice here.

My heart is definitely in disaster work--and with my grandkids. This seems like a great answer for a while. What do you think?

9/19 International Talk Like a Pirate Day

My pirate name is:

Iron Jenny Cash

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You're musical, and you've got a certain style if not flair. You'll do just fine. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Avon Walk Weekend

Hi All, It's Jill posting for my mom. She wanted me to tell you all she is doing fine. The weather is perfect, the Queen Mary is beautiful and she is performing tonight. She is excited about performing. More to come later.

9/14 American Red Cross decisions...

The Red Cross called yesterday and made me the official offer and needed an answer and a start date. I told them yes because I really want this to work. But I still haven't heard if the job restructuring thing is going to work at my current job. Sure hope so.

Am totally enjoying my time with the grandkids and Jill. Yesterday I had Hunter all day and it was great. We played and watched movies. Picked up Kayla from school and went to Chuck E. Cheese for a late lunch and lots of playtime. It's one of my favorite things to do with them.

I got a rental car for only $96 for the whole week. How cheap is that? Pretty darn cheap, right? Well, it's a little Chevy--no problem. But the windows are manual, as are the locks. Never realized how very spoiled I am! Just hate not having electronic locks and windows. Still--$96 per week makes it palatable.

There are horrible fires several miles behind Jill and Todd's place. Fire departments are here from all over California. (Bet the Red Cross is working too.) Because of the smoke, the kids didn't have soccer practice last night, and at school Kayla takes recess in the multi-purpose room rather than outside. Hope they get the fires contained soon.

I got up early and took Kayla to school. Jill's off from her regular job today, but is at the gym coaching gymnastics. H is watching The Land Before Time, and I've been doing some work on the computer. It's a nice, relaxed day so far (not even 9 AM yet).

Tomorrow I go to Long Beach to the Avon Breast Cancer Walk. It'll be an exhausting, but rewarding weekend.

9/13 Whew! I did it!

Last night was so much fun (for me, anyway). MJ and her friend Rachel were there, and Debbie brought 15 or so people (including her son Steven and four of his friends).

Without sleep and with nerves aplenty, I sat at the bar drinking a coke, knowing I'd go first since I've only been doing this about a year and a half or so. And I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, there were 10 comics instead of the 5 I expected. That was cool, because I enjoy hearing new people and watching their styles.

Met Jen Kober in person for the first time. She's EXACTLY like I pictured her--adorable and hilarious. She is so sweet with a wonderfully bawdy sense of humor.

So comics were told they each got six minutes, I got a little panicky. I'm not good at changing my set on the fly, although I know it's a necessary skill. But I'm so proud that I was able to cut down my 10-12 minutes to 6 or so. Don't know exactly because Jen told me not to worry about it.

Now that I have my set organized into "categories" it'll be easy to make adjustments.

Anyway, insted of going first, I went fifth--a very respectable placing. Outside of Jen, my two favorites were Bob Bledsoe (watch for him, he'll go places) and omigod I forgot her name--a beautiful young woman who did some funny sports announcer bits.

I think I did okay. Went too fast when I thought about time. Some sure jokes didn't get the laughs I expected, but I'll own that--if something is funny everywhere else, it's probably my delivery. Also, I do need to adjust for different audiences--LA is different than LV is different than Milwaukee is different than Quincy.

It didn't seem that the head of development for Comedy Central was there after all, but Adam Carolla's producer was. :) Funny guy, drinking lots at the bar, but his hearty laugh could be heard through everyone else's. Every comedian needs an audience member like that. :)

Jen is awesome and we're scheduled to work together again in La Crosse, WI at the end of the month. I can't wait! Thanks so much, Jen, for your kindness and for making me laugh my ass off.

(Thanks, Debbie, for bringing your posse and making them mine.) And MJ, I can't begin to tell you how much it meant to me that you came from Milwaukee to see me. Love you both.)

9/13 Tired but excited

I slept a total of 3 hours last night, so I'm pretty beat. Picked up MJ and went to the airport. I watched Akeelah and the Bee on my computer during the flight. An adorable movie.

Took forever to get our luggage, and forever and a day to rent a car. Traffic was great on the 5, until we got within two exits of Jill's. They closed the 5 because of fires in the hills. Jill had told me they did it yesterday, but that today it was open. Apparently they changed their minds while we were on it.

Saw K long enough to kiss and hug. I'll spend more time with both kids tomorrow and Thursday. As for now, I need to rehearse.

Will let you know how it goes. I'm a lucky bug.

9/12 Excited, but can't sleep

Tonight I'm performing in Hollywood. In about 20 hours, I'll be at the M Bar doing stand-up. I'm thrilled about the opportunity, so of course I can't sleep. Have to get up in 2 1/2 hours, and now I'm afraid I won't hear the alarm. Oh, and I have an earache.

What a dolt!

Wish me luck anyway. Please.

I'll report as soon as I can.

9/11 Where were you?

When Kennedy was shot, I was in high school. I was home from school, sick. But not really. Just home from school. Lying on the couch and watching TV. In retrospect I wish I'd been at school with all the other kids. It was comforting to be able to share the experience with Mom, however; and we were glued to the set. But it would have been good to share it with my peers too. It did feel like we lost our innocence then. Our handsome president and his lovely family. We didn't know of any behind the scenes familial gossip in those days. We just knew that we loved the Kennedys. All of them. Their mystique, their good looks, their class, their money, their religion. Everything was glossy, and glossed over. Our hearts hurt, and still do, at the thought that Jack was murdered.

When the Challenger exploded I was driving from St. Louis to Quincy. Went to grad school in St. Louis, but lived and worked in Quincy. I heard about it on the radio station I listened to. I immediately changed to NPR and listened in horror. Had to pull off on the side of the road because I was crying so hard. What a waste of beautiful lives. I kept thinking about Christa McAuliffe, the teacher on board. And her family.

On 9/11 I was living in St. Louis and working at a Crisis Center. Was getting ready for work and watching the Today Show as always. And suddenly there it was. And things would never be the same again.

As part of my job, I debriefed some Ground Zero workers by phone. I'm still touched by their pain.

It's funny, that working in the crisis field, no one has talked about it at CPI today. I've looked at the news myriad times, but I do that anyway. Today I'm kind of numb. And it's almost like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I cried at home before I came in to work.

What about you? Where were you on momentous occasions (if you were alive at the time)?

9/10 I feel confident

Last night I fixed my toilet! Amazing how installing a little piece of plastic can make me feel so accomplished and self-sufficient.

I also bought a new tarp as a ground cover for my tent at the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in LA. Am packing for both the Walk and the rest of the week in LA. I'll be gone seven days.

Today, the CSz Rec League starts again. Brainstorm plays at 2 PM. I'm excited to be playing again. Mary Jo, Stacy, and Chris are so fun to be on a team with.

9/9 Last night

I had so much fun last night. Sat with Michele, Maria, and Kelly for the 7:30 CSz show. Then Melissa, Megan, Stacy (and her husband Lucas), Maria, and I watched the 10 PM Gentlemen's Hour sketch group. So five out of the eight of us in BroadMided were there, which made it so much more fun.

The Gentlemen's Hour totally rocked and we enjoyed the show a lot.

One of the neatest things was that Michele had created this great poster to advertise the Open Mic nights at CSz. It's also on their website. But seeing this big poster in the bar really made me smile. Thanks, Michele!

9/9 As promised...

Here's the news I promised!

On Thursday the Red Cross national office made me a job offer. YAY! Picture this fat old lady doing a happy dance!

Yesterday I spoke to my boss and said there are three things I want:

1. To continue working for CPI
2. To do disaster mental health work for the Red Cross
3. To move home to Quincy

And I told her how I think I can do all three. I'd written it up as well, but wanted to "talk it out" first. She was really receptive to my proposal and will talk to a decision maker on Monday. We'll see. But I'm very hopeful.

I hope to find out sometime next week. So keep your fingers crossed for me. If the answer is yes, I'll be a happy camper.

The downside? I'll be leaving my comedy family. Sure, I'll still be able to do stand-up, but in Quincy I don't think there's an avenue for improv or sketch. Of course, I could make something happen, which would be kind of fun.

Anyway, I'm very excited, and can't wait to find out if my life is going to change.

9/8 Tomorrow

I'll post some big news tomorrow. Promise.

After work I'm joining most of BroadMinded to see some friends perform sketch comedy. The group is Gentlemen's Hour and they rock.

(Tomorrow. I promise.)

9/7 Decisions, decisions

More about the decisions tomorrow.

Right now, I'm just plain excited. On my way to get my hair cut, I spoke to my friend, Debbie, in LA. She's quite the mover and shaker and has done so much promotion for her own books that she's a pro at promoting things and people. I'm so grateful to her. She and her son, Steven, are bringing about 20 people to watch me perform in Hollywood. And Steven is going to video my performance. How cool is that!

Next week is going to be a blast!

9/6 My friend

Just had lunch with my friend, Mary Jo. She's in BroadMinded with me.

She's got business in LA, so arranged to go at the absolutely perfect time so she could see my performance in Hollywood next week. In fact, we're flying out on the same plane. Nifty.

At lunch I helped her sign up for MySpace. She's an actor, and this will be good for her. Just as comedians and musicians use MySpace as a marketing tool, so do other artists and actors. So we had a fun lunch.

I'll also see her tonight at BroadMinded rehearsal.

Now, back to work!

9/5 The saga continues...

Last night's rehearsal was easy on me because we just sat and talked through some new ideas. Tonight, there's Open Improv though and I think I should skip it because right now the old back isn't feeling too well. It's just from sitting all day. My sis said I should stand and walk a lot because sitting was harder on the back. Boy, that's a true statement.

Last night I was at a Barnes and Noble with my computer (because they have wireless internet). I finished the work I was doing so I started playing online poker. One table, turbo, no-limit, Hold'em. I almost always come in first through third in this type of game. There were three of us left and I heard a voice, "The mall will be closing in ten minutes. Our store will close then also." Oh no--I ended up just having to bet on nothing, and finished third two minutes before they kicked me out. Good timing. But I would have won a lot more in first or second place. (Talked to my brother, Joe, while I was playing. That was cool.)

9/5 Pale Immortal

My friend Anne Frasier's new book is out today. Pale Immortal will prove to be her best one yet! Check out the video HERE! Then buy her book!

Welcome to Tuonela, a sleepy Wisconsin town haunted by events of 100 years ago, when a man who may have been a vampire slaughtered the
town's citizens and drank their blood. Now, another murderer is killing
the most vulnerable...and draining their bodies of blood.

Evan Stroud lives in darkness. The pale prisoner of a strange disease
that prevents him from ever seeing the light of day, he lives in tragic
solitude, taunted for being a "vampire." When troubled teenager Graham
Stroud appears on Evan's doorstep, claiming to be his long-lost son,
Evan's uneasy solitude is shattered.

Having escaped Tuonela's mysterious pull for several years, Rachel
Burton is now back in town, filling in as coroner. Even as she seeks to
identify the killer, and uncover the source of the evil that seems to
pervade the town, she is drawn to Evan by a power she's helpless to
understand or resist....

As Graham is pulled deeper and deeper into Tuonela's depraved,
vampire-obsessed underworld, Rachel and Evan team up to save him. But
the force they are fighting is both powerful and elusive...and willing
to take them to the very mouth of hell.

9/4 Writing

I'm at Barnes and Noble, after working about 2 1/2 hours in my office. Unbelieveably I still have more to do. I'll worry about that later.

Just finished casting the new sketches I wrote and co-wrote. (Wrote two, co-wrote one with Melissa.) So I'm basically finished with what I have to do for BroadMinded before rehearsal. Now I'll start writing the proposal for my job. It's hard to type with my fingers crossed.

(How odd. The Google Ads on the right side of the page are for Baby Sleep Training and Flat Skull Prevention.)

9/4 Labor Day

Lazy day this morning, spent with a heating pad.

Now am getting ready to finally go into the office and clean it up. Then to a coffee shop to write, and finally to Megan's for BroadMinded rehearsal. I'll make sure and take my meds with me, and maybe the heating pad. I don't anticipate any problems. The meds are working pretty well.

I'm looking forward to getting out of the house.

Hope everyone is having a great day.

And Joe and Cindy, you both must be feeling a bit down as your oldest son, Adam, left for his new life in New York. You're on my mind.

Adam, enjoy your new life. This is such an exciting time for you. Make sure you let us know if you need anything.

9/3 Yuck

Another bad back day. Jane (my sis who's a nurse practitioner) said I should start back exercises today, but I'll have to wait until after I take another muscle relaxer. Right now, my back hurts enough that I don't want to do any stretching. But I can't wait to do them, because I know they'll feel really good.

This sucks, but I'm very lucky that I'll be better soon. I can't afford to have anything really wrong with me, because I have to be in decent shape for disaster work.

Tomorrow I'm going into work to try to clean up the office, and then I'll go to the coffee house to write before rehearsal. There will be no activity at rehearsal though, just read throughs. So it will be fine for me to participate.

Watched New World this morning. Very odd movie, but anything with Christian Bale and Colin Farrell offers me enough eye candy that the story doesn't matter.

9/2 Continuing my fun life...

Today my plan was to go to my office and clean it up. Too much "crap" strewn about.

Made breakfast and had coffee about 7 AM. Then noticed my back was hurting. I thought I'd rest a while so watched TV until 9. Got up and my back hurt worse.

So instead of going to work, I went to the walk-in clinic. I'm grateful it's just a muscle strain. Don't know from what. I was in a lot of pain, so the doc gave me a shot as well as prescriptions for pain and muscle relaxer.

I came home and slept much of the day. I'd gone to Blockbuster and got some movies. Watched Failure to Launch (cute) and Memories of a Geisha (gripping and beautiful). Now more meds and to bed soon.

Told you yesterday my life is exciting. See what I mean?

9/1 OK Go

This music video is absolutely amazing. It's all over the Internet now, but I got this from my writing friend Andy. Please take the time to watch OK Go perform on treadmills.

I'm eating lunch of leftover mac and cheese. Am really busy today publishing a newsletter, and trying to finish up stuff from the conference. However, I don't know if the conference stuff will get done today. I'm doing the best I can.

Slurp.

Just took a huge slug of ice water. My life is so exciting right this second. I think I'll take another drink of agua.

Slurp.

My life is fun. That's all I'm saying.

9/1 Celtic Horoscope

You Are A Cypress Tree

You are strong, adaptable, and striving to be content. You're good at taking what life has to give - even if you don't like it. A passionate lover who can't be satisfied, you are quick tempered at times. You hate loneliness, want love and affection, and need to be needed. A bit of a live wire, you love to gain knowledge any cost... and you can be careless at times.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?